What some people think about widows

Time for a hard disclosure.  It has seemed to me that most people do not like dealing with widows.  We "creep them out."  On the one hand, they "understand" the raw emotion that comes from loss.  However, dealing with us while we deal with it, seems too much for some. 

After what they deem to be a "suitable mourning period," the uncomfortable people will start to send subtle "get over it" messages.  Several people have begun sentences to me with, "It's been (however long).." Do not allow statements from insensitive people to make you overly concerned, and certainly do not feel any guilt.  In my case, some of my friends began their push to "health" after only three months.  At that time, I had moved beyond counting the days.  I was counting the weeks.  From there, I counted the months, based upon the date of loss.  At first, I would point the timeline out to our friends and family members.  However, when I realized that this made some of them uncomfortable, I kept it to myself and a few understanding souls. 

Your financial status will be of great interest and concern for some people.  Again, in most cases, this is because well meaning friends and loved ones will want to ensure that you and your kids will be able to survive.  However, some will approach the matter with a kind of blind prejudice.  They will presume that you "must need money" since you no longer have a husband, regardless of your employment status. At times, it can be hard not to take offense with people who push the issue. I am well educated and employed.  My late husband and I were not given excesses and status symbols.  Part of the reason for our restraint was the over-hanging knowledge that he had a condition which was likely to result in at least a disability.  Some have been so insistent that I had to be in dire straights that I've almost felt the need to post my income on facebook.
The flip side of the "destitute widow" is the "rich widow."

Having people think that you must be rich, just because you can pay your bills, is also not a great condition.  It brings out the predators.  These opportunists will try to convince you that you cannot possibly make it without their input and guideance, which will of course require some sort of funds transfer to them.